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queenabz
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Name: Abz
Metro:
Birthday: 4/19/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: Runnning, jumping, cheering, singing, playing guitar, cuddling Chewy, eating ice cream, reading. Jesus, We are Family!, chilling with friends, having a general good time. Watching movies.
Expertise: Designing websites, talking. lol ha ha
Occupation: Military
Industry: Textiles
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  lethercry05
Yahoo:  stinkypants87
Member Since:
6/15/2004
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| So I forgot, to say it here!
I've been writing at http://onlyletgo.blogspot.com
Come and see. Come and see.
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| So tonight I found myself logging in to Xanga... which is crazy its been awhile. And finding that a lot of people still use it. I have a lot of reading and catching up to do.
This week has been all about disappointments, just one right after another in an awkward progression of unexpected events. A few frustrations:
1. Why do people say one thing and do another?! Be a man or woman of your word! If you commit to something stick with it. And if you have to back down, have a good reason. Don't be a cop out.
2. Why does everything cost so much money?! There is never enough to go around and debt is like sinking sand.
3. Why do we let ourselves fall into the same old ruts over and over again, as if the warning signs are not all there that things must be different?
I didn't get most of the things I wanted or thought I needed this week.
I have to do some big things coming up alone.
My heart hurts... a lot, in that kind of way that doesn't just disappear.
But sometimes, what is good is the enemy of what is best.
And I'm trying so hard to believe that... and not let things hurt me or get me down.
I need to be okay with it just being me and God, and I know I'm still not.
But life is a process, right?
Tonight I have my very own car, which is incredible.
And I have hope, and a future, and a family who loves me and a God who has been merciful and compassionate towards me. And so that's enough.
Everything else will fade.
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| I'm sitting on a laptop in a hotel room in a tiny town in South Carolina.
Jonathan and Crystal are watching this 90's movie I hate called The Fifth Element. My mom is burning popcorn as we speak... and vacation is, interesting to say the least. lol
Life is... bittersweet, as one way of putting it.
I find myself spending my days waiting for the time to pass. I don't necessarily want to live like that, but it's a hard mindset to retreat from. Tommorrow I will start working on it! hahahaha Anyways, I am sitting online thinking about people and stuff. In the words of Payton, "Everyone always leaves."
And I know that, but the aching still never gets old. And I just want to be married. And have my own house. And a puppy! And a fat little kid!
Waiting takes forever.. | | |
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| Have you ever literally felt your heart drop?
It's a quite interesting feeling really. It should be some sort of scientific wonder.
The same goes for having your breath knocked out of you.
They both feel exactly like they sound.
I got on the computer to play Sims. But of course I had to get online... and further depress myself. lol.
Can I tell you that God is amazing...
These last few days, which could possibly have been the loneliest ever, I got phone calls from friends I haven't talked to in forever. Guys, girls, people from different places, friends to just lay around and do nothing with.
So it would be the most selfish thing in the world to say I'm alone.
Because I have the best friends ever.
And yes I may be a celibate nun until death.
And never live anywhere exciting
And work at a department store forever.
But if that's where God wants me, and that's how he wants me to be...
It's about time I start being all right with it.
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